I had a very unpleasant experience with what was supposed to be a very merry celebration. My family and I went to the baptism of our cousins’ baby twins. Everything was a complete fiasco.
In the Rozhen monastery
Мy four-member family, the mother with the twins, their uncle, and their grandparents, traveled by cars for at least half an hour up a steep and curvy mountain road in 40˚C heat, during which both babies puked. Eventually, we reached a very beautiful monastery with a very pedantic priest. First he scolded my parents, the godfather and godmother for not having had a religious wedding (religious marriages were forbidden during socialism, most Bulgarians in their age group weren’t married in a church). Then he scolded the mother for not being able to remember whether she was ever baptized or not (again, she was a child during socialism). As a whole, instead of inspiring us to be better Christians, this priest was reprimanding us.
As soon as the ceremony began, the babies started crying as if someone was beating them. They were choking on their tears, they peed themselves out of fear, they kicked and fought back. Everyone laughed at first, but after thirty minutes passed, we all wanted this to end. The mother got furious (or desperate) and rushed out of the church. The evil priest remained unshaken. He didn’t bother to shorten the ceremony, which lasted more than an hour. He had to completely undress the babies, dip them three times in the baptismal font, make them kiss the bible, draw crosses with ointment on each of their limbs, cut a few hairs in the shape of a cross from their heads, and on, and on. Everyone was nervous and distressed.
I usually treat religion with reservation, but this particular occasion deserves a little bit more.
The mother says that she is openly atheist. She didn’t know what the ceremony really was, so she was shocked when the babies started crying like that, when they had to be undressed, and when the priest started washing them with holy water with his hands. She said the ceremony was torture for her kids who had never cried like that before. She said that she will “try” eastern religions instead.
Why then did she want to baptize the kids at all? Just in case? Or just because she thought it would be very romantic in that marvelous mountain monastery? Why do something that you don’t really believe in? And why bind your children to something that you don’t believe in? At least she could have waited until they are old enough to make their own choice.
In general, few Bulgarians are true believers. Our skepticism for religion is a leftover from the socialist regime (1944-89), which forbade religion, the “opium of the people.” Today, Bulgarians go to church, but only on major holidays. We observe the Christian Orthodox traditions, but we accept them as family holidays rather than anything spiritual. Or am I wrong?
3 comments
Comments feed for this article
August 17, 2010 at 12:12 am
Katley
That christening must have been horrible to watch. Those poor babies must have suffered. And for what?
I, too have had bad experiences with religion, although much different than yours.
I grew up in a religious family, and went to Sunday School from the time I was in second grade.
The nuns there were brutal, especially with the boys, and used corporal punishment on them, usually with a ruler, or a pointer.
My husband had a bad experience at his mother’s funeral mass, when he was reprimanded by the priest in front of the congregation, for not holding out his hands to receive communion. (Back in the day, the priest placed the wafer in the person’s mouth).
And then I went to Rome, and saw all that glitter and glitz that was the Vatican. Far from making me more religious, seeing the Holy City turned me away from religion altogether. The reason for that? Priests are supposed to take vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, and the opulent surroundings where the cardinals lived were the ultimate in hypocrisy. There are so many who do without, and here are these cardinals living in luxury.
BTW I was raised Roman Catholic. There have been a lot of scandals in the news about priests abusing children (usually altar boys).
I read something recently about a child drowning while being baptized. It happened in Romania. A tragedy that never should have been.
http://www.edmontonsun.com/news/world/2010/07/28/14855316.html
I don’t practice religion now, nor does my family. It would be hypocrisy to do so.
God created the world, but Man created religion.
August 17, 2010 at 11:01 am
zikata
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I’m glad we don’t have religious schools in Bulgaria, but I’ve heard that in the old days, they did have corporal punishment. I agree that there is nothing educational in slapping or pulling student’s ears, be it by a teacher or a nun.
I read the article about the drowned baby, and I’m speechless! The baby was six weeks old! At that age, they can’t even sit upright; why would you put a newborn through such a complicated ceremony?! Both the parents and the priest are to blame for the tragedy.
June 17, 2011 at 9:08 am
Demetrios Kehagias
I read your blog about the baptismal experience and I was utterly dismayed at what I read. I can see that the sacrament itself was NEVER properly explained and I can understand what leads up to the conclusions (which in my opinion) are incorrect. The old adage that, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing”. Never was more true. It is normal for the children to cry as much as they did. I have experienced this phenomena repeatedly. When you have someone who is not a member of the family in the children’s face, I don’t expect them to be happy instead I expect them to react as they did. He (the priest) needed to reassure everyone that this is normal because he is a stranger to these children. He cannot shorten the service because they are crying (Orthodoxy Christianity is steeped in tradition which dates back to Christ himself). One other note is we must realize that even though we as humans are imperfect, Christ and His church are perfect because it is not mankind who created the church but God who set the format of how the worship is to be done.
I also just wanted to thank you for taking the time of sharing your experience with us because not many people are willing to stand up and say, “this is how this experience affected myself and my family”.
+Demetrios
P.S. Feel free to contact me if I can be of service in any way.